


Blank Slate

by Forripsy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Social Anxiety, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Whump, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:42:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25834453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forripsy/pseuds/Forripsy
Summary: Keith wants to leave his past behind him after becoming a part of Voltron.  Unfortunately, he's still a socially anxious mess with a flawed view of relationships.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Blank Slate

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I've ever released. I decided that I'm never going to create a work that's "good enough" for other people to read if I don't bite the bullet and release something, no matter how shitty. It's just a vent fic that I wrote on a whim where I scream into the void that is this community through the voice of Keith. It's very self-indulgent and short. Let me know what you think. Don't hold back with your criticism. Enjoy.

Keith was trying. He had been trying so fucking hard these past few weeks. Trying to suppress his self-doubt and his urge to crawl away in response to physical or emotional contact. Sometimes he made considerable progress. There were days where he felt open to the world. Where he was ready to embrace himself and other people. That Keith, it seemed, was a separate version of himself. One removed from his past and reputation.

Voltron was an opportunity. Keith had been thrust into a new environment with new people. He had a chance to become someone else and leave his old insecurity and stigma behind. This team needed him, after a lifetime of him needing other people. Keith finally felt secure and grounded in his environment. He could be an adult instead of that helpless child being tossed from household to household as the grown-ups saw fit. He felt in control. 

At least, that’s how he imagined this transition would go. It’s pretty difficult to become part of something so alien. Instead, he found himself screwing up every interaction, which usually meant lashing out, even at the most benign comment. Keith wasn’t good with words, only using them to push people away, whether he intended to or not. He decided to let his actions do the talking.

It was a delicate process, building an intricate identity out of a series of actions. He assumed that the other paladins were listening, taking note of his exceptional piloting and combat skills. If he could be useful, then he could be loved. That’s the basis of any relationship, right? If he couldn’t be useful, then he would be uprooted, alone, thrown back into foster care. That’s why it’s always best to take relationships passively. You never know when you might ruin it by saying the wrong thing and have to leave. Since saying the wrong thing was inevitable, relationships had to be disposable.

But Keith was locked into Voltron. Even if his own life had little value, it wasn’t fair to let the entire universe suffer for his inability to commit. His relationships with the other paladins were not disposable, and he couldn’t afford to ruin them. Because of this, Keith spent the majority of his energy weaving his silent tapestry of a reputation. Every time it tore apart, because of an argument, a misstep, a sign of vulnerability, he had to restart the entire process. It was exhausting.

It wasn’t fair either. Keith knew that his perspective wasn’t normal, healthy, or functional. He knew that other people, Lance especially, were born with a natural sense of belonging and sociability, but he didn’t know how else to think. Any perspective was better than nothing.


End file.
